I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
