Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
