Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
