..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
