I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
