Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
