i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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