wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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