haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
