I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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