Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
