for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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