it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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