she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
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