i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
