don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
