this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
