I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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