I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My dick has a subreddit
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
