That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He? As in you personified your dick?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
