foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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