Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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