Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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