we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
