There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
