doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
