I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
