Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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