He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
