my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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