Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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