don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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