sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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