that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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