Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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