Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
