I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
