i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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