i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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