found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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