we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
