my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
