we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize