god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
