I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
