the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
