i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
