Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
