bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
And then my night got REAL pukey
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
