My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize