I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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