If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I party with great urgency now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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