i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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