dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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