I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
