Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
