so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i out mim tonsoeep
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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