But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
