so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
