Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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