I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
