I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
