I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
