Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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